True peace and love can only be achieved through forgiveness–
forgiveness of oneself and everyone else.

what is forgiveness?

To forgive means to express understanding for what happened —
what was done or not done to you. Forgiveness involves letting go of
the suffering and pain, the hurt and fear. It involves releasing the
other person from our hold on them and their hold on us.

We often think that by not forgiving people that we will teach
them a lesson, punishing them for their wicked ways. This is not
so. The only person who suffers is the one who holds the grudge and
allows the blame, shame, hatred, bitterness or revenge to fill them
up and poison the mind and body.

For every emotion we have, there is a corresponding physical
response. When you are happy and excited, your metabolism speeds
up. when you are angry, your breath becomes faster and shallower
than normal, your blood pressure rises and your muscles tense up..
anger, fear and other negative emotions make the body acidic, which
many believe opens the door to illness.

benefits of forgiveness

Bitterness, anger, hostility, hatred, resentment and fear are
the hallmarks of the state of un-forgiveness. These negative
emotions increase blood pressure and cause hormonal changes that are
linked to cardiovascular disease, immune suppression, impaired
neurological function and memory.

Research suggests that the act of forgiveness benefits the
mind and body by reducing the stress of un-forgiveness.

how to forgive

Forgiveness does not involve condoning the original action
committed. It involves separating the action from the person who
committed it. The deed may be bad, but the person who committed it
is not necessarily bad.

To forgive, one must try and gain as much as possible insight
and understanding into the person who committed the deed. When we
can understand why the person acted in this way, then it is easier
for us to release the anger, resentment and pain within us.
Inevitably, we learn that we are all human- and imperfect.

of course, each case has its own unique elements.

The more insight we have, the easier it is for us to express
compassion, which in turn leads to forgiveness. In every moment, we
have the opportunity to choose love, compassion and forgiveness.
Ultimately what we all want is love and acceptance. But remember
what we do have control over is our ability to forgive, love and
accept them as they are. In turn, we free our hearts and become open
to give and receive love and thus, to experience God and peace.

forgiving ourselves

Forgiving oneself can sometimes be the greatest challenge of
all. That has certainly been the case for me. Often we are harder
on ourselves than others are. If we cannot forgive ourselves,
how can we forgive other people?

As humans, we are imperfect, still growing, still evolving
spiritually. My lesson – and I believe everyone’s lesson- is to
forgive ourselves for our mistakes, even those things we feel ashamed
about and learn to accept ourselves for who we are, knowing that we
can always gently work on making improvements.

In order to help my self forgive i have to remind my self the
God forgave even those who killed His only Son. in other words,
there is nothing you can’t forgive.

For me, the true experience of inner peace began only once i
was able to forgive those around me and myself.



  1. Wow, Jersey! There is so much meat and truth in what you have written. This is quite in sync with Sara’s & Gary’s lessons this morning that stated, although we are a tripartite being, spirit, soul and body, yet, those parts are so integrated that what one “part” does intrisically affect the other “parts” of our body. Unforgiveness works this way as you have explained. The physical, emotional and spiritual are really inter-connected.
    One thing the Lord showed me is that, contained in the word FORGIVENESS is the word “FORGIVEN”. And when we remember of what the merciful Lord and God of Heaven and earth and all things visible and invisible has FORGIVEN us of; myriads of sins, evil hearts, bad attitudes, and the many anti-virtues that you named in your post…when we realize that we have been FORGIVEN much by a perfect GOD, then should we not invoke the mercy and compassion of the LORD JESUS CHRIST, take that to ourselves and also Forgive those who have trespassed against us, as the Lord’s Prayer exhorts us to do?
    Thank you for the wake up call to all to examine our hearts to see if there be any wicked way in us and lead us to the life everlasting…the Way the Truth and the Life, Christ Jesus.

  2. Thank you Jersey on this special article on forgiveness. You were so thorough. I, like you, believe it is so hard for us to forgive ourselves. I picture it as taking it to Jesus in prayer like a garbage bag. However I have found myself picking the bag up and carrying it back with me over and over again. I have repeated this action many times until finally one day I left it at the feet of Jesus. I knew the following scriptures and knew the importance of forgiveness but why was it so hard. According to Matthew 6:14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you… Matthew 6:15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
    One time I was listening to a sermon and the pastor said, “Now for all you who think they have forgiven, please pray this prayer. Lord, bring to mind anyone I have not forgiven so that I might forgive them.” Having felt I had taken everything to God in prayer, I was shocked to have some names come to mind. The pastor also said that if the person were dead that you ought to place a chair in front of you and place with your mind that person in that chair and ask for his or her forgiveness. It works. Yes, inner peace comes with forgiveness which seems to be an ongoing process.

  3. Jersey, these are really good insights about your journey to inner peace that can help us all. You said ‘true love and peace can only be achieved through forgiveness’. This ties in with my understanding of some of Sara’s recent teachings in which I learned that no matter what I do, if I don’t have love, I am only a clanging cymbal(I Cor 13:1). And also, if I don’t love myself than I won’t be able to love others. This seems to relate to what you are saying about forgiveness. It is a crucial step to being able to love. In order to love myself and then love others, I must really accept Jesus Christ’s payment and offer of forgiveness. To reject or refuse to accept this costly Gift is like saying to Him that I could care less that He loved me enough to die on the cross for me or for anyone else. As I thought about all this, along with your article of forgiveness, it made me see even more clearly that we can’t afford not to forgive or even to put it off for another day. Just like you said, our inner peace depends on it. And once we have peace and love with ourselves, then we can ‘love your neighbor as yourself” (Romans 13:9).
    Thanks for taking the time this New Year’s Eve to post this for all of us at The Daily Lily. Happy New Year Jersey!

  4. Thank You Jersey for this blog on forgiveness and the results of not forgiving on the body…individually and corporately…the effects are the same as we heard in our services this sunday the eve of the new year…we are one yet we are a part of the whole and what we do effects the whole…..Christ came that there would be forgiveness and He gave the ultimate example and gave His life asking while on the cross”Father forgive them for they know not what they do”…..such love…such forgiveness….what an example…and thank you Jersey…what a reminder…to take into the New Year….dj

  5. You have given us a prescription to help us detox. revitalize and rejuvenate our lives for a better and brighter ’07. Our Lord taught us to pray very much like your words. Let us pray and forgive often in ’07.

    Our Father, who art in heaven,
    Hallowed be thy Name.
    Thy kingdom come.
    Thy will be done,
    On earth as it is in heaven.
    Give us this day our daily bread.
    And forgive us our trespasses,
    As we forgive those who trespass against us.
    And lead us not into temptation,
    But deliver us from evil.
    For thine is the kingdom,
    and the power,
    and the glory,
    for ever and ever.

  6. Jersey,
    Thanks for submitting this blog. God’s Word tells us to forgive 70 times 7, and this blog demonstrates all the extra benefits that come with obeying God’s Word.

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