True peace and love can only be achieved through forgiveness–
forgiveness of oneself and everyone else.
what is forgiveness?
To forgive means to express understanding for what happened —
what was done or not done to you. Forgiveness involves letting go of
the suffering and pain, the hurt and fear. It involves releasing the
other person from our hold on them and their hold on us.
We often think that by not forgiving people that we will teach
them a lesson, punishing them for their wicked ways. This is not
so. The only person who suffers is the one who holds the grudge and
allows the blame, shame, hatred, bitterness or revenge to fill them
up and poison the mind and body.
For every emotion we have, there is a corresponding physical
response. When you are happy and excited, your metabolism speeds
up. when you are angry, your breath becomes faster and shallower
than normal, your blood pressure rises and your muscles tense up..
anger, fear and other negative emotions make the body acidic, which
many believe opens the door to illness.
benefits of forgiveness
Bitterness, anger, hostility, hatred, resentment and fear are
the hallmarks of the state of un-forgiveness. These negative
emotions increase blood pressure and cause hormonal changes that are
linked to cardiovascular disease, immune suppression, impaired
neurological function and memory.
Research suggests that the act of forgiveness benefits the
mind and body by reducing the stress of un-forgiveness.
how to forgive
Forgiveness does not involve condoning the original action
committed. It involves separating the action from the person who
committed it. The deed may be bad, but the person who committed it
is not necessarily bad.
To forgive, one must try and gain as much as possible insight
and understanding into the person who committed the deed. When we
can understand why the person acted in this way, then it is easier
for us to release the anger, resentment and pain within us.
Inevitably, we learn that we are all human- and imperfect.
of course, each case has its own unique elements.
The more insight we have, the easier it is for us to express
compassion, which in turn leads to forgiveness. In every moment, we
have the opportunity to choose love, compassion and forgiveness.
Ultimately what we all want is love and acceptance. But remember
what we do have control over is our ability to forgive, love and
accept them as they are. In turn, we free our hearts and become open
to give and receive love and thus, to experience God and peace.
Forgiving oneself can sometimes be the greatest challenge of
all. That has certainly been the case for me. Often we are harder
on ourselves than others are. If we cannot forgive ourselves,
how can we forgive other people?
As humans, we are imperfect, still growing, still evolving
spiritually. My lesson – and I believe everyone’s lesson- is to
forgive ourselves for our mistakes, even those things we feel ashamed
about and learn to accept ourselves for who we are, knowing that we
can always gently work on making improvements.
In order to help my self forgive i have to remind my self the
God forgave even those who killed His only Son. in other words,
there is nothing you can’t forgive.
For me, the true experience of inner peace began only once i
was able to forgive those around me and myself.