“How Close Are We to Those Who Have Died?”
In her book titled “Beyond Death”, Flora Slosson Wuellner writes about contact with those who have died as opposed to “a total separation from loved ones still on earth” in the chapter, “How Close Are We to Those Who Have Died?” She discusses both healthy and unhealthy contacts and says “we judge the health of our beyond-death contacts the same way we discern whether our earthly contacts and relationships are healthy: do we feel free or controlled? Are we growing in loving outreach to others around us? Is our daily life still interesting? Do our usual activities give us energy? Do we make independent choices and explore options? Or do we feel a growing dependence, addictiveness?” She goes on to advise that “some after-death contacts should be discouraged, just as some types of earthly relationships should be discouraged.”
Wuellner gives an example of a grandfather of one of her life-long friends that died but didn’t want to enter his next life. He wanted to stay “earthbound” because in life he had “maintained iron control” over his family that he had pulled out of poverty and feared losing what he had gained. He wanted to do the same in death so he came to his granddaughter one night very angry that no one listened to him anymore and he wanted something done about it! The unafraid granddaughter “of great spiritual strength and insight” spoke to him lovingly but firmly and explained that though “they admired him for the many good things he had done for the family…it was time for him to move on…that Christ awaited him, friends awaited him, and that all he had to do was to turn toward the Light.” He was told to leave and not come back complaining because she needed to sleep! “He left sulkily”. Then she prayed for him and slept. Many years later he returned with a peaceful face and then never tried to make contact again.
In another incident, an ex-husband (who in life had “remained in friendly contact for the sake of his daughter”) came back and everyone from the daughter to the dog saw him. Apparently, he wasn’t angry or controlling but “had no wish to explore new options”. He wanted no part of life after death. He wanted to stay on earth where things were familiar and had “no special desire to come closer to God.” Wuellner’s friend knew this was not healthy …” his visits were disrupting their daily lives. Friends, understandably, stopped coming to his house.’” So, this friend got her prayer group to pray; “surrounded herself with God’s love and light”; and told her former husband very firmly to stop the visits, “turn to God’s Light and move on. There he would find family and friends who had died earlier. They awaited him and would welcome him to a better, happier life.” Even after assuring him he needed to go and grow, he tried to return many times. She learned to be “very tough with him”; told him to go into the Light; don’t fear; God is with you holding your hand; we are praying for you.
Wuellner explains that these were not demonic encounters but just ‘childish, earthbound souls clinging to what they were used to, wanting people to notice and listen to them. They would not let go, release.” She says they had to be dealt with just like a clinging neighbor on earth who visits or calls too much, always needing reassurance or talking trivia. She sums it up by saying: “The fact that people had died makes no difference in the way they needed to be encountered: with lots of tough love and firmly set boundaries.”
Our beloved friend, Mary Grace Henry, spent the last couple of years in a Wednesday Morning prayer group lead by Pastor John Yera at our Community Baptist Church, Leesburg, Va. He still holds those prayer meetings and all are welcome. 🙏🏻
I got to know him well when MG was hospitalized and later rehab and then her Heavenly home going. A few months after her death he shared a signed copy of his newly published prayer book with me. I guess we had been watching one another closely from his heartwarming message to me.😱
Truly, I was watching him and he showed himself to be a man of integrity of character. He was faithful in his visits and being a part of prayer on a steady basis in the rehab facility touching many that were going through their own struggles. He walks boldly in his wheelchair carrying the aura of solace to the needy. His prayers are prophetic in nature as they drill into the hurt of the heart to heal and comfort.
If you would like to know more about him, his book and/or buy a book I am providing an Amazon link below.
WOW! Congratulations to those that have been faithful to finish the course. We are in the last Chapter.
“Forgiveness Fully Formed”, Chapter Eleven. “Forgiveness the Passionate Journey” by Flora Slosson Wuellner. A great study on The Beatitudes. Wuellner walks us up Nine steps to forgiveness. Read with us opening page of our last chapter. Chapter Eleven!
I just have to share first sentence of next page; “These characteristics make forgiveness feel living, organic, active and moving.” Yes, give yourself a big hand! I’m giving you and me one👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
“Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled.”—Matt. V. 6.
The first thought that comes to my mind is, Whoa, do I,❓do I know anyone, ❓does our Nation(s)❓hungry and thirst after righteousness❓What does it feel like❓ What does it 👀 like❓Does it have a color❓
The title from our Study Book for this beatitude, “Release to New Healing Choices” sorta test my first thought to search for answers. Sure need your help in breaking this power thought down.
I, with some others, are going to be studying a book titled, “Forgiveness, the Passionate Journey” by Flora Slosson Wuellner. It is on the Beatitudes.
I have been reading chapter two, “Facing Our Hurt, Naming Our Need” on the first beatitude, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 5:2-3. The author gives us a more accurate translation of this scripture that she found from the root meanings: “Blessed are those who recognize their total need of God.”
In laying the framework for healthy forgiveness, Wuellner tells us that there are four questions we need to honestly ask “within the presence of God’s love: (1) What happened? 2) Who is responsible? (3) How do I feel about what happened? (4)What is my need right now?”
One thing I have gotten out of this chapter so far is that I have to be able to clearly name what happened in order to experience change. That is not easy and I am having to work on it.
The author ends the chapter by leading us in a meditation designed to help us enter and grow in the healing process. Even without Wuellner’s book, one can take on the study of the Beatitudes found in Matthew 5 from The NT. I think it is a good way to start 2018.
Link to Amazon for book if anyone is interested.https://www.amazon.com/Forgiveness-Passionate-Journey-Forgiving-Beatitudes/dp/0835809455/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1515413351&sr=8-2&keywords=flora+slosson+wuellner
I stumbled upon an interesting book that taught me how to take a test on my compassion by taking my PULSE! Thought you might like to try it!
Frank Rogers Jr. “Practicing Compassion” Take your PULSE!
“P – Paying attention. Cultivate a nonjudgmental, nonreactive awareness of whatever agitation is present within you.
U – Understanding empathically. Listen for and be moved by the suffering hidden within the cry of this agitation – the fear, longing, or aching wound in need of tending.
L – Loving with connection. As you are moved by the suffering within you, extend tender care toward the need or wound that presents itself.
S –Sensing the sacredness. Recognize and savor the expanse of compassion that holds and heals every suffering within you.
E – Embodying new life. Notice the gifts and qualities of restored humanity that are being birthed within you.
In taking our PULSE, we not only relax the reactivities, repulsions, fears, and drives that distort our natural humanity but also tend to the wounds and needs hidden within them. In so doing, we are restored to ourselves – selves that are naturally compassionate.”
As I completed my test, I thought my family of fur babies, our doggies, are the perfect example of what compassion should be! And, how I treat them might be a even better test for me. Look at the wisdom of my thoughts; Proverbs 12:10 ICB, “A good man takes care of his animals. But even the kindest acts of the wicked are cruel.”
Philip Yancey has written a new book, “Vanishing Grace.” One of his faithful followers writes, “…provocative, thoughtful book exploring thorny issues within our faith and church.” Philip, “tackles the diminishing popularity of Christianity in postmodern America over the past several decades and suggest ways believers can cut through today’s rampant cynicism to proclaim the gospel in word-much more important deed.”
I am reading very slowly with heart wide open as I am on a journey to follow St. Frances’s advice, “preach at all times and when necessary use words.” As I read, search and pray I find that I am not alone in looking to understand church. I am bicycling in tandem with Yancey that we are experiencing an awakening grace. I am thinking grace will awaken when our deeds are seen and people begin to rejoice in glorifying Our Father which is in heaven. (Matthew 5:16) I can just hear chorus of voice in unison singing a prayer, “Our Father Which art in Heaven…”
I do so desire Heavenly Father’s will be done on earth as in heaven. I would like to hear your thoughts on the new today’s church that you are walking out daily.