I have a question for those that have the gift of Mercy. Or, may just have the understanding of this gift. How does one know and understand when and how to extend mercy?

If you are in relationship with another and they seem to be ‘not keeping their responsible part.’ do they deserve mercy? How would I know if they just don’t want to take responsibility or they are ‘not capable?’

Maybe this is not a Mercy issue, if not, what is the issue? I am looking at this from personal and interpersonal relationships. Ones that are desirable to both but sure has lots of bumps in the road at times. How would I determine if they are capable or not?