Jealousy-Talking Points

Green eyed Monster. Have you seen it? Felt it? Know it?

“Jealousy is cruel as the grave: the coals thereof are coals of fire.”
(Song of Solomon 8:6)

Shakespeare said;
“O beware of jealousy
It is the green-eyed monster.
That doth mock the meat it feeds upon.”

Solomon bravely asked in Proverbs 27:4 “Who can stand before jealousy?”

My question to us today is, do we know and recognize jealousy when we see and feel it in ourselves? How do we handle it? How does one confront a Green Eyed Monster?

30 thoughts on “Jealousy-Talking Points

  1. James 3:16 says: “For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there.” This tells me that if I see a whirlwind of confusion spin in then look for jealousy to be wrapped up in the middle of it with self-seeking providing the spin power. And its bringing nothing but trouble. And we may feel inside just like that confused whirlwind. And it may blindside us since it is cloaked in a flurry of confused activity…we may not see the jealousy for what it is. Others may see it and its destructive path before we do. There’s no truth in it.
    I think the AMP ellaborates on it well.
    “But if you have bitter jealousy (envy) and contention (rivalry, selfish ambition) in your hearts, do not pride yourselves on it and thus be in defiance of and false to the Truth. This [superficial] wisdom is not such as comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual (animal), even devilish (demoniacal).For wherever there is jealousy (envy) and contention (rivalry and selfish ambition), there will also be confusion (unrest, disharmony, rebellion) and all sorts of evil and vile practices.” AMP

    How do we handle it and confront the Green-Eyed Monster?
    Don’t play with it or entertain it or participate with it in you or another. Help someone see it if you can and be grateful if someone points it out in you so you can confront it and get rid of it and operate in God’s wisdom not in devilish wisdom. We should see evidence of what is outlined below:
    “But the wisdom from above is first of all pure (undefiled); then it is peace-loving, courteous (considerate, gentle). [It is willing to] yield to reason, full of compassion and good fruits; it is wholehearted and straightforward, impartial and unfeigned (free from doubts, wavering, and insincerity).
    And the harvest of righteousness (of conformity to God’s will in thought and deed) is [the fruit of the seed] sown in peace by those who work for and make peace [in themselves and in others, that peace which means concord, agreement, and harmony between individuals, with undisturbedness, in a peaceful mind free from fears and agitating passions and moral conflicts].”

  2. My footnotes from James 3:14-18 from the New Living Translation Application Bible says”True wisdom can be measured by a person’s character. Just as you can identify a tree by the type of fruit it produces, you can evaluate your wisdom by the way you act.” The Green Eyed Monster is foolish. Notes say,
    “Foolishness leads to disorder, but wisdom leads to peace and goodness. Are you tempted to escalate the conflict, pass on the gossip, or fan the fire of discord (Green Eyed Monster). (Cure per notes); Careful, winsome speech and wise, loving words are seeds of peace. God loves peacemakers (Matthew 5:9) … “Don’t listen to the advice of the world which says…’Assert yourself,’ ‘Go for it’. ‘Set high goals.’ We can be drawn into greed and destructive competitiveness. Seeking God’s wisdom delivers us from the need to compare ourselves to others and to want what they have.”

  3. “do we know and recognize jealousy when we see and feel it in ourselves?” Sara, I would have to say that if we have allowed the enemy of our soul to blind us, then maybe we would not know or recognize this horrible jealousy? Debi touched on how to handle it, and you have repeated to me and others; often, scripture that helps to answer the question you have asked here: “how do we handle it?” Read with me: “there is safety in a multitude of counselors” . When we know something just doesn’t feel/seem right, conversing with Christian mentors/friends, etc. can help us to get back on the right track, with God’s help.

  4. As I read the blog on jealousy, I pictured a huge ugly green-eyed monster, with ugly spines and slime and green eyes all over it’s body. Now, if we saw this ugly monster coming after us to destroy our spirit, we would run like the wind. We would try to find a safe place. Unfortunately, as Needles stated above the enemy may have blinded us so we can’t see this monster. How does this happen? One way is allowing our busy world to come before God and His Word. Then we may begin to believe false truth’s that may seem so real. This is a gateway for the enemy to release his demons into our spirit and begin to destroy it with the rot of evil. The ugly green-eyed monster moves in and begins destroying. Of course, we never saw it because we were too busy to study God’s truth. This monster sits in our Spirit like cancer cells, destroying our healthy truth-filled spirit cells. We didn’t know what hit us. It changes our whole personalility. We never trust any one. We are very insecure. We don’t like the person we have become. So what do we do about it? As Debi states above don’t play with it or entertain it. We must study God’s word and pray about it. This is the action needed to weaken the monster and destroy it. We must stay in God’s word learning the pure truth. Truth with no flaws. We must pray the Lord will help us to see the monster for what it is and what it does. We must never let our guard down, the enemy is persistant and always waiting for a chance to attack. We must remember there is a battle for our soul. God our creator verses Satan our destroyer. We must be aware of the truth, ourselves and our surroundings. Keep our minds focused and clear of clutter. Let the scales fall off our eyes so we can see clearly. Use the tools God gave us His Word and communication through pray. Always know, that Satan is ready to attack. So put on the armer of God and be ready to fight.

  5. Jealousy a Green-Eyed Monster, one with envy. Sounds like Satan to me and all his workings to get others to look at him instead of the God of love. He was jealous of God from the very beginning. We know his fate – the fiery lake.

    We know with Christmas the scripture that reads:
    For a child is born to us,
    a son is given to us
    The government will rest on his shoulders
    And he will be called,
    Wonderful Counsellor, Mighty God,
    Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace'” (Is. 9.6 NLT)

    Jesus being the Prince of Peace.
    I remember Sister Ruth Catalano said you are called to be a peacemaker, but it is not how you would think. Peace, peace, peace not as the world brings.
    The peace we bring is the truth that Jesus brings. It is helping others see the
    truth as Needles says and other Christians pen pointing truth to us. It is not appealing to the flesh but to grow as a Christian and stay firmly planted and grow like an ever lasting tree and bearing fruit you need truth. Praise God for TRUTH bearers who love us so much they are determined we will walk on the right path – Jesus’s path and take on His character – bearing all truth. We think Jesus that according to John 14:6 (New International Version)
    6Jesus (said), “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

  6. Chickenfarmer writes, “This monster sits in our Spirit like cancer cells, destroying our healthy truth-filled spirit cells. We didn’t know what hit us. It changes our whole personality.” Oh, my, this should put some fear in us to get up and fight the good fight and not just when we finish our fun activities. When cancer cells get loose and takes over the body one surely has much pain and dies. As CF says, it will change the Whole personality.
    Shakespeare said it well,

    “O beware of jealousy!
    It is the green-eyed monster
    That doth mock the meat it feeds upon.”

    That meat must be flesh of jealousy and envy. When we see it we need to get up and medicate with doing the will of God. Run from flesh. Galatians 5 says, “So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want.
    The acts of the sinful nature are obvious:… jealousy, .. and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

  7. Fear of this Green-Eyed Monster jealosy is right!
    Sara introduced me to a powerful book years ago by Ruth Paxson titled ‘Life on The Highest Plane”. As soon as I had time to find the book after I read Sara’s blog on jealousy, I located the paragraph where Paxson describes the alarming results of jealousy. She lists it along with other ‘hidden desires of “the old man”‘ which she says ‘come to the surface in deeds.’
    She says ‘jealousy attempts to end its torment in suicide or homicide.”
    Yes, we better ‘fight the good fight.’

  8. The title of the section in the book is ‘The Manifestation of Sin in the Natural Man’. Paxson tells us that the core of the natural man is self …scripture calls it ‘the old man’. And she says ‘man is not a silent, inactive creature. His thoughts are expressed in words; his instincts are translated into actions; so if the fountain is corrupt, then that which flows from it will be correspondingly corrupt. This inner nature manifests itself in outward acts.”
    So if I understand correctly, we can’t hide the fact that we are feeding, nurturing, etc those hidden (thoughts, instincts, feelings) of that self nature. Eventually they come to the surface (get exposed) by what we do. She cites many examples but a few are: ‘dissatisfaction and discontent clothe themselves with murmuring and complaining; envy becomes slander; ambition arms itself for war; selfishness grows into oppression.”

  9. Have you heard or read that God is a jealous God? God is demanding faithfulness and exclusive worship?

    Exodus 34:14 (King James Version) “For thou shalt worship no other god: for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God:”

    Some jealousy must be good!

  10. Yes, you are right. I have heard and read that. Some jealousy must be good. My Bible concordance gives another example of good jealousy. Apparently God’s people can possess a good jealousy if they have the same one God has and are jealous for the Lord.

    “And the Lord said to Moses, Phinehas son of Eleazar, the son of Aaron the priest, has turned my wrath away from the Israelites, in that he was jealous with My jealousy among them, so that I did not consume the Israelites in My jealousy.Therefore say, Behold, I give to Phinehas the priest My covenant of peace.” Numbers 25:11 AMP

    And Paul had a good jealousy for people…he wanted to make sure they were wholeheartedly devoted to Christ. “I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy. I promised you to one husband, to Christ, so that I might present you as a pure virgin to him.” 2 Corinthians 11:2

  11. Jealous vs. Zealous. We know that the meaning of jealous is envious and desring that which is not ours to have or resenting another who has ‘it”.
    But our God is a consuming fire. He is zealous….that is filled with passionate ardor for His people and his Name and that may be what is meant by a “jealous” God….that He is zealous. Ex. 34:14 states,”do not worship any other god for Jehovah, Whose Name is Zealous passionately expects exclusive devotion.” Jehovah God is zealous for those and that which belongs exclusively to Him. He is not selfish but zealously commands all that is His to worship Him and Him exclusively.

  12. Has anyone answered this? “My question from blog, do we know and recognize jealousy when we see and feel it in ourselves? Needles commented, I would have to say that if we have allowed the enemy of our soul to blind us, then maybe we would not know or recognize this horrible jealousy?”

    Has anyone experienced jealousy and envy, maybe of another’s job, position, talent, age, property, inheritance, looks, etc. If in fact Needles is right, than we might need a seeing eye guide. Hopefully, it never has been and is not a problem here among our writers. Maybe the question is better unanswered?

  13. What is the difference between the emotion of jealousy and an emotion to find out you have been deceived and/or used by others?

  14. I am thinking that the answer to that depends upon how you perceive, think, react to the deception/use by others. If I had been deceived or used by someone I may feel hurt, disappointed and/or angry but not necessarily jealous or envious of them. I would think that if you are jealous or envious, than you would want what they have or possess. So if they have deceived you and used you to gain an advantage and you feel somehow ‘entitled’ to what they obtained and you can’t get, yet feel you deserve…than that hurt, disapointment and/or anger could escalate into jealousy.

  15. I think unless we are deaf, blind or feigning stupidity, almost ALL of us KNOW when we have feelings of jealousy of another, or about something someone else has or has done. has received, or accomplished, etc. We can try to decieve others and even ourselves, maybe, but jealousy is a highly volatile emotion and even the effort involved in trying to hide it takes a toll on our state of being, on our attitude and composure. When anything threatens the “self-esteem factor” that old green-eyed monster rears its ugly head. I see this in little ones who have not yet acquired the finesse to fake it when someone else is given praise, or laudation or an award.
    Our schools have programs that promote the virtue of being happy and congratulatory when a fellow student recieves an award, a prize or wins a contest. The little ones are encouraged to congratulate , applaud and give “atta-boys” to the victor. Many students are enrolled in the Easten martial arts programs where they learn to honor their opponents, good sportmanship and being gracious in a defeat. This has quite a positive effect on young ones, and the older students, too.
    Only by the Spirit of the living God and the Word, can the “jealous cats”…as we called them when we were little kids, learn to overcome and be truly sincere in our support for others who have what we think we should have or receive what we think we should have received.

  16. Good thoughts, Debi and MG! Congratulations to your school MG for their teaching on ‘virtue.’ And, of course to the Eastern martial arts programs and others that teach virtue, dignity, honor and respect, we stand and applaud all that love and teach virtue.

    What could be more stressful in situations as named than to see a child crying over losing a game or competition rather than running to the Victor with a note of congratulatory honor to the winner.

    Now, we have established that this, as just discussed, sure looks, sounds and smells like jealousy/envy. But as one peers in just a little deeper we might just see jealousy in the emotion of having been duped. Why, do I think this? Seemly, many times when one has been duped the duped one becomes angry or emotionally upset in some form because someone has outsmarted them. A form of game much like a sport we acknowledge or competition we accept. The duped gears up with one up-mans-ship on the other instead of congratulating the other for duping them. This looks like jealousy to me because the dupper was more cleaver than the duped.

    OK, MG, I may fall in one of your categories of “unless one is……..”

  17. Sounds to me like you just described the situation(s) in the Book of Genesis between the twins Jacob & Esau, Isaacs 2 sons. The Bible translates Jacob’s name to mean usurper, supplanter. And from the first, Jacob wanted Esau’s birthright of the first-born, even though they were born at the same time, Jacob grasping the heel of Esau. But nevertheless, Esau was first out. Jacob cleverly pushed Esau’s hot button in refusing to give the famished brother some excellent stew that Jacob was making, unless Esau forfeited his birthright for the bowl of lentils. Jacob, as a sly and crafty fellow, knew Easu’s weak spots. Now Sara, I think I would call that a move of a smart “dupper”.
    And then later when Isaac was on his death bed and called out to bless the first-born Esau, Jacob didn’t even have to invent another plot to get Esau’s blessing because their mother Rebecca helped him with a few clever “sleight of hand” or maybe it was sleight of ‘hairy hand’ with which Jacob duped his father into thinking he was the hairy Esau. Isaac ended up giving Jacob the lavish Abrahamic blessing of his grandfather Abraham. Esau missed the spiritual blessing that Jacob obtained through chicanery..that is artful subterfuge and deception (Webster). That was a biggie. I call that a “SUPER-DUPPER”
    And, yes, Esau was not only jealous but he had murder in his heart and Jacob had to flee from the jealous wrath of his twin. Maybe this is a lesson that jealousy unchecked and un-repented of can lead to murderous emotions. That is very scary. So when we are outsmarted it is best to humble ourselves, repent and let it go…easier said than done, but with Godand His help. nothing shall be impossible to us…even getting over envy and jealousy.
    After all, look what happened to Lucifer because he was jealous of the most high GOD!!

  18. Great Bible story for learning, if one would learn. Take note, brothers, even twins duping one another. We know duping usually takes place in families, churches, work and wherever there are relationships that are not godly and that is everywhere but not always.

    MG, not sure I agree with your idea of how to handle duping, ie, ‘humble, repent, and let it go.’ I believe from my studies one should take a look at what Luke told us Jesus thought about issues like this.
    “And the lord commended the unjust steward, because he had done wisely: for the children of this world are in their generation wiser than the children of light.” Luke 16:8 And, sit down and take a look at verse 9 “My disciples, I tell you to use wicked wealth to make friends for yourselves. Then when it is gone, you will be welcomed into an eternal home.”

    Message writes it like this…”Now here’s a surprise: The master praised the crooked manager! And why? Because he knew how to look after himself. Streetwise people are smarter in this regard than law-abiding citizens. They are on constant alert, looking for angles, surviving by their wits. I want you to be smart in the same way—but for what is right—using every adversity to stimulate you to creative survival, to concentrate your attention on the bare essentials, so you’ll live, really live, and not complacently just get by on good behavior.”

    I would say, don’t forget it, use it!

  19. Well,I was referring to the arena of “revenge”, for being duped. The Lord says that He would repay. However, yes, we should be wise as supents and harmless as doves.
    And motives of the heart also come into play. We would not want to be welcomed into everlasting dwelling places (gehenna) as the cunning craftiness of the world presents. (v. 9).
    But, hey! It worked out really well for Jacob!

  20. I’ve been duped before. Crafty people know how to play on your emotions, pride, weakness, etc and then we fall in their trap. They know what they want and how to get it and we’re the fool. If we remain passive, ignorant or fail to get emotions, pride and/or weaknesses under control, they’ll do it again…and again… and we will be the loser.

  21. ‘revenge’ is mine, I guess that means God’s, I am lost. What does God and revenge have to do with learning how to be wise in all situations? I sure would not go around waiting for even God to hand out revenge to others for duping me or me them. I am saying I believe we need to take these situations and learn how to grow and mature from them. We can learn lessons and apply them without getting into vengeance. Can’t we?

  22. I think I may be getting some of this now, Sara? If I focus on “my hurt, my being ‘wronged’, my revenge/God’s revenge, etc., then I’ve missed the opportunity of a “teachable moment”. How can I become wise, in all situations, if the focus is on myself, the problem, my hurts; instead, of “what can I learn and what do I need to apply, in this situation?” Am I on the right track?

  23. Perhaps when we learn the lessons and are able to apply them we will come forth as gold. In my morning study of Beth Moore’s A WOMEN HEART she talks about our building on the foundations of Jesus’s Christ. Our works/building blocks of everyday will be judged by fire – 2 Corinthians 5: 9-10.

    She asked that we make a list of all the things/works we have done this week. The categories for building blocks/works are gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay, and straw. When judgement comes from the LORD it will be by fire. I hope you had a lot in the category of gold, silver, and costly stones and not in the wood, hay, and straw area. I’m afraid I would have a number burned up this week. May we strive to learn and have items on our list that are gold, silver, or costly stones.

    To clarify the works that will not burn, the following is directly from Beth Moore’s study:

    Works of gold acknowledge that He alone is worthy, that He alone is God.
    Works of silver proceed from a heart that responds with inexpressible gratitude for our redemption and the inestimable price paid for our atonement.
    Works of precious stones result when children of the royal priesthood, serve and minister as we are fully equipped with the gifts of the Holy Spirit.

    We know that our CHIEF reward is to be with the Lord – He is worthy.

    She goes on to say the fiery trials come
    1 Peter 1:6-7 (New International Version)

    6. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

    May we learn the lessons and grow in faith, and may Jesus Christ be glorified and praised.

  24. Once burned, shame on you. Twice burned shame on me! I was just thinking that a close word to ‘dupe’ is ‘dope’. Sometimes, even after being “burned” by a ‘duper” or a super-dupper, we still fail to recognize another scam coming our way because it is disguised with new “trappings”…an appropriate play on words, I must admit! We need discernment so that we recognize the diverse ‘traps” that the enemy uses to dupe us. If we refuse to “learn our lesson” then we are duped dopes.

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