I am a spiritual coward

Are you a spiritual wimp? I am. Unhappily, I am a spiritual coward. I know, a bit, the Word of God. I have had revelatory teaching and prophetic teachings where I worship. I have read the Bible stories and the exhortative parables that Jesus taught His disciples. But …when it comes to confrontation, facing a lie, or facing the truth, I shrink back. Or let me say I have been shrinking back.
In instances where I know the truth about a situation or an event I shrink back. When I have been faced with exposing a sin or a lie where a friend is in a bad situation…I do not help. I shrink back. When a loved one was dying and repenting of incidences in life that were regretful, I loathed to add to the guilt other things that I knew about. I started to shrink back then.

My cowardice amazes me. Why cannot I find my voice in these situations? I certainly can speak when I am defending myself or explaining my opinion or actions ( in the flesh of course) but when it comes to spiritual confrontation, I am a spiritual wimp. What do I fear? Not looking good in the eyes of the one in dire straits? Being rejected because I tell the truth to that person? Defending an indefensible action, a friend in conflict, a loved one, convicted, preparing to stand before the Lord? Oh my God, forgive me!
Spiritual cowardice is a sin. Sara gave the scripture a few days ago, “
But my righteous one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him. But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved.” (Heb. 10:38-39) It was well that God gave her that warning for me. I am in dire straits, myself. 

I have, once again, purposed in my heart to begin to confront myself on these issues and to seek the Holy Spirit of the Living God for help and deliverance from this sin against my brothers and sisters. In the Body of Christ.
That old spiritual tells my story…
Will I succeed? I must. For shrinking back brings destruction. Oh my God, forgive me. And my brothers and sisters, forgive me, in Jesus’ Name.

14 thoughts on “I am a spiritual coward

  1. The Perry’s seem to have an answer:
    The Potter Knows The Clay
    I know you are going through the fire
    Its getting hard to stand the heat
    But even harder is the wondering
    Is God’s hand still on me
    Its lonely in the flames
    When you’re counting days of pain

    But the Potter knows the clay
    How much pressure it can take
    How many times around the wheel
    ‘Til there’s submission to His will
    he’s planned a beautiful design
    but it’ll take some fire and time
    its gonna be okay
    ‘cause the Potter knows the clay

    Friend I just came through that fire
    Not too very long ago
    And looking back I can see why
    And that my God was in control
    But on the hottest days I’d cry
    Oh Lord, isn’t it about time”

  2. Broken at the Feet of Jesus by Rena K. Oynes

    I am broken and sorrowful at the feet of Jesus.
    My life not always easy
    I’ve been told you are surely ugly, old enough, and big enough
    From early childhood

    Tears seem to flow so easily
    As I sit at your feet Jesus

    The ugliness continues
    I have been told you are a liar, a Jezebel
    Oh my soul hurts so bad inside of me
    Lord I never wanted to be either

    Whats happened to me Lord to cause such pain
    Born into sin, I’ve sinned
    I sit at your feet
    Not perfume in hand to wash your feet
    but the tears of a broken life

    Lord wash me with your blood
    Forgive me so that I will be told you
    Are a child of God.

  3. Rena, your poem hits home. Brokenness, the bewilderment of how did I get here in my life when all I THOUGHT all I wanted to do was to serve YOU, Lord. There were prophecies and predictions and teachings and anointings and YET~~ flesh balked at the glory. Flesh rebelled at the Word. Subtle and sneaky, reasonings and rebuttals…S L O W L Y it approached ” ichabod”.
    So, I too, kneel at the feet of the Lord Jesus Christ and repent. I turn from wicked and subtle evil. There is no subtlety in the Spirit. It is outrageous sin.

  4. I saw THE Scripture in Decision Magazine. Proverbs 6: 16-19 I paraphrase: These Six things the LORD HATES, yes..seven are an ABOMINATION to Him. A proud, (demeaning look); A LYING TONGUE….a heart that devises wicked (or disobedient plans); feet that run swiftly to evil…(and those who are weak and follow suite); A FALSE WITNESS (who corroborates the liar’s story for whatever reason); and one who sows discord among the brethren (to uphold one’s own position or superiority).
    God already knows and we cannot hide.

  5. ONe of my favorite ladies, Maya Angelou, writes:
    “A person’s speech is mirror to her or his soul. When we listen intently to Reverend Martin Luther King Jr., we sense that he is showing us his soul.”

  6. Rena, a heartfelt poem. Interesting in how your poem reads to me. ‘You have been told you are a liar?” Does that mean one has lied? Or, one has been accused falsely of lying? Called a Jezebel or being shown one has behavior or some characteristic of someone by that name?

    It seems if I am reading your poem correctly one may have heard words as a child that had a negative affect on the psych. Then words along the way DNAed to the childhood words and produced a cell out of wedlock.

    Or, maybe another way of my mind’s reading words from the poem would mean words have made a rut in the mind and they have no other way to go without intervention. I am sure the heartfelt poem has many entrances of understanding other than mine.

  7. The Perry’s song gives me hope because whoever wrote it went through it and came out free and submitted to the Lord and now can encourage others.

  8. Thank you, MG for being humble, and admitting your short comings. God teaches us to be humble. I’d like to say that this morning, I was feeling angry, and God lead me to a scripture that got me straight. Lord, forgive me for feeling angry. Read with me, Matthew 5: 22. “But I say, if you are even angry with someone, you are subject to judgment! If you call someone an idiot, you are in danger of being brought before the court. And if you curse someone, you are in danger of the fires of hell.” Look at what I read in some of the footnotes. “Jesus taught that we should not even become angry enough to murder, for then we have already committed murder in our heart. The Pharisees read this law and, not having literally murdered anyone, felt that they had obeyed it. Yet they were angry enough with Jesus that they would soon plot his death, though they would not do the dirty work themselves We miss the intent of God’s Word when we read his rules for living without trying to understand why he made them. When do you keep God’s rules but close your eyes to his intent? Killing is a terrible sin, but anger is a great sin, too, because it also violates God’s command to love. Anger in this case refers to a seething, brooding bitterness against someone. It is a dangerous emotion that always threatens to leap out of control, leading to violence, emotional hurt, increased mental stress and spiritual damage. Anger keeps us from developing a spirit pleasing to God. Have you ever been proud that you didn’t strike out and say what was really on your mind? Self-control is good, but Christ wants us to practice thought-control as well. Jesus said that we will be held accountable even for our attitudes.”
    Heavenly Father, thank you for leading me to this scripture, and thank you, for forgiving my angry feelings. I repent, in Jesus name.

  9. I must say to me this is a very sad post, song, poem and confirmation comments when I stand back from emotions and read. My thoughts are; ‘halt mule’, (call a halt demand or order a stop) and look what is going on around you without walking down another dirt path and making a tiny row in the sanctity of the mind for a slave cell in mind to plant a corn seed, pick and only have a small kernel from the share to insure their health and vitality.

    My mind says, ‘look not at the ‘words of woe’ being played in the old ruts of the mind again but look up and unto the hills from where the help comes from and the help comes from The Lord God. “My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth!” Psalm 121:2

    My comments are strictly from reading essay/poem in literary form from my own view. I have no comment or the ability to comment on the health and healing of the essence of the poem/essay in its original form from the artist or another reader.

  10. The poem was only to say that sin in a life is an ugly thing and can only be cleansed by the blood of the lamb Jesus Christ. It is difficult to face you have lied by omission and directly or you have cut off that which was holy. Only by repentance (feet of Jesus) can you be cleansed. With the poem I was repenting. At this point in my life I am certainly of the age and have been in the church long enough that this should not be happening.

  11. Agree with you Rena for myself as well. Titus 2 gives clear instructions how the older women are to teach and train the younger women how to be wives and mothers. Teach them how to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.”

    OMG, getting older brings some responsibility. I think repenting is good which at this age is showing the change…..don’t you think?

  12. As Sara and Rena have written above the way we can overcome these “habits and addictions” is to identify them, face them and change them now, while we still have the chance because the Word of God in Revelation 12: 11 not only says …
    “And they overcame him through the blood of the Lamb and the word of their testimony” ; But Also this caveat..
    “and loving not their lives they freely gave themselves up to death (or) they did not love their lives so much as not to sacrifice the self-life for the victory over the world, the flesh and the devil.

  13. After awhile, you just know..no use fighting it…it’s time to climb back onto the wheel. I see the POTTER taking His place at the wheel, His foot ready at the Pedal….Yes, Lord, I am cracked and shattered on one side…I have chips and gouges.
    “This is the Word that came to Jeremiah from the Lord :Go
    down to the potter’s house, and there I will give you my message. So I
    went down to the potter’s house, and I saw him working at the wheel.
    O, can I not do with you as this potter does?” declares the Lord . “Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand says the Lord.” (Jeremiah 18)

  14. And as John says in 1John 1:8, “If we say we have no sin, refusing to admit that we are sinners, we delude and lead ourselves astray. If we freely admit that we have sinned and confess our sins, He is faithful and just, (true to His own nature and promises and will forgive our sins, dismiss our lawlessness and continuously cleanse us from all unrighteousness, everything not in conformity to His will in purpose thought and actions for our lives.” (AMP)
    It would seem right and good that when the truth of something is brought forward by a person of GOD, a minister of the Gospel and prophetic vision, etc. things that have been hidden in our hearts for months or years or decades and it is exposed for what it is and we SEE it, we GET it…that we readily confess that before God (and man, If appropriate) and allow the deliverance and the healing to take place.
    When Nathan the prophet confronted David, God’s apple of His eye, and His sweet psalmist, of all people, David confessed and repented.
    Often our testimonies and our stories are sad, but the revealing of them hopefully can result in repentance and restoration and a new zeal to work for the Lord and accomplish feats for the Kingdom of God.

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